Staring Down Grief

Grief…it swoops in quickly without warning, and leaves a trail that you wish didn’t exist.

Grief is an overwhelming emotion that settles into the pit of your stomach, the bottom of your heart, and the depths of your mind. It finds us all at one point or another in this quickly fleeting life we are gifted to live. Grief can take up residence in us without invitation and leaves no promise of vacating the premises after a short stay.

I have willfully stared grief straight in the eyes more than I’d prefer, as I experienced soul grieving loss that shifted everything I knew about life. The happenings of a typical day can change in the brevity of a moment without permission or approval…and have left me quaking for days, months, and years.

Phone calls about heart attacks and hospital rooms and worst case scenarios have stolen smiles straight from my face. A knock on the door at dinnertime has knocked the wind right out of my lungs and sent my knees to the floor. A scan of my womb with no beating heart to be heard has left me beating my fists hard against the floor. Holding hands in receiving lines and peering into tear strained eyes has undone strength in me like nothing else.

I’ve walked with grief enough to know that it must be handled with a straightforward gumption that stares it down without fear, while simultaneously welcoming it as a wayward friend. We cannot simply walk away from the wayward friend named Grief as soon as it arrives on the scene but instead must walk with it a few miles and then persevere to leave it behind.

Every step we take in the journey with grief is taken with the kindness and faithfulness of Jesus because “Even though I walk through the darkest valley I will fear no evil, for you are with me.” (Psalm 23:4) (emphasis added)

Grief is always heaviest when carried in our hands rather than in the hands of the One who can take it under His command. Our assurance comes from the truth that as we are walking through the darkest valleys of our loss, Jesus is walking beside us carrying our grief in His nail scarred Heaven perfected hands.

So, dear friends, when the sting of loss hits you square between the eyes, have the gumption to stare down the grief that will come with the strength that you possess through the work of the cross. Wrestle grief down to the ground, when necessary, and then hand it over to the God who has overcome it all. Walk alongside the most trustworthy of friends, and let Him carry the burden of grief right back to the cross where it was all finished.  

Cry the tears. Let out the screams. Clinch the fists. Mourn the loss. Ask the questions.

Then…with courage and trust, hand it all over to Jesus and walk with Him as He holds the grief that is too heavy for you to carry. Walk with Him and find the peace that your soul needs. Before long, you will find that the grief has been healed by His tender touch and you have covered miles of the road walking again joyfully with the very lover of your soul.

© Dani Hardy (February 6, 2019)

My heart grieves with family and friends who have lost so much in the recent days and months. I am no stranger to the grief filled journey of life and am honored to pray for you. If there is more that I can do, don’t hesitate to make it known. My love for each of you is a love that God has granted for me to deliver on His behalf and it is my privilege to do so.