Not-So-Silent Nights
The nights are not-so-silent in our quaint little home, but they sure are some of our favorite. So far this Christmas, we have walked through beautiful light displays, watched movies with cups of hot cocoa, painted ceramic ornaments on the kitchen floor, and read bedtime stories by the glow of the Jesse Tree. It has been beautiful, fun, and intentional.
But don’t be fooled by the nostalgia listed here, there is no perfection in Christmas except for the One found in the manger.
Our days are noisily filled with episodes of “Fancy Nancy” and the melodic tune of “Let it Go” constantly being belted out by our blonde haired, cape wearing toddler. The nights around our home, that we sometimes wish were more silent, are often filled with tantrums over which toothbrush to use at bedtime or which spoon to use at dinner. We live with a strong-willed (much like her momma) two-year-old who has our hearts on a string.
We try to breathe them all in as grace, even the ones that try us the most. We prayed for moments like these. For 11 years, we begged God for Christmases spent with laughter and late night cuddles…so we must be careful to capture them, live them on purpose, instead of wish them away. The days and the nights and the moments in between are full of busy and loud and chaos, but they are ours. Gifted to us from a gracious God.
As I store up the memories of Christmas with our girl, I can’t help but wonder about Mary. Having just given birth to the Savior of the World, “Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.” (Luke 2:19)
What were her thoughts in those moments? What did she feel? What did she wonder?
See, Heaven had been silent for 400 years until the cry of the newborn King pierced through the night. The world had been longing for the Hope of Heaven and found it curled up small in an unassuming stable. Mary, who found favor with God, had been longing for something, for someone, and there she was…holding the answer tightly in her arms.
If you find yourself longing for something, for someone, He is the only answer that will fully satisfy. Whether on Christmas or a random Tuesday in July, our longing should lead us to Jesus or it will surely lead us away from Him who provides.
Mary, gazing upon the face of God was a mother now…and that changes everything.
She was a mother now, and I would bargain to say that there was a wrestling for silence, a wrestling for peace within her; fully in awe of what God had done and fully aware of the responsibility before her.
I, like many of you, know what it is to mother. I remember the nights when our girl was new and I wrestled with every emotion imaginable. The days were long, the nights were noisy, and sleep was an ever elusive companion. Ralph Waldo Emerson said “There was never a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him to sleep.”
Every mother around knows that you can simultaneously feel the greatest joy and the greatest insecurity while gazing upon the face of your newborn child. The joy of receiving a gift while under the weight of responsibility that the gift entails, is a wrestling that every mother (and father, for that matter) can understand.
At Christmas, we can receive and accept the gift that is Jesus. We can receive HOPE born into the world. We can receive PEACE from the Prince himself. But as we receive the gift of Jesus, and all that He is, we are also handed the weight of living well as a home for Him. A dwelling place for Him to be born into, as we daily follow Him. A dwelling place for Him to show the world His great love, on display through through our words, our actions, and our deeds.
Is there a wrestling in you over the not-so-silent-nights in your home? Is there more grace due to you (from you) and to your children as you navigate the road together? Breathe it all in mommas…it is all grace from God.
Are you wrestling to find peace this Christmas amidst your current circumstances?
Is there a wrestling to surrender some THING that you’ve been chasing more than you’ve been chasing Him?
Is there a wrestling to trust His plan for your life instead of comparing it to His plan for someone else’s?
Whatever it is that you find yourself wrestling in….wrestle well.
Wrestle through the struggle, through the chaos, through the noise to find the silence of the night and the Peace of the Prince that comes from wrestling well with God. Wrestle well on the not-so-silent nights to become the home for Him that He so desires!
© Dani Hardy (December 14, 2018)
References
“Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.” (Luke 2:19) (Holy Bible)
“There was never a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him to sleep.” (Emerson)